Your threats are not jokes

Today I was walking through the middle of Nelson, on the main street, just past 5pm. I was abused by a bunch of guys in a car, with far more violence than the cat calling I’ve unfortunately gotten used to. [TW rape, abuse.]

I reached a pedestrian crossing. A woman opposite me was waiting to cross, and a beatup car with three young guys in it, in their late teens I’d guess,¬†was stopped to let her go. She had headphones in and didn’t see them, so they leaned on the horn super hard and yelled at her. She jumped and they all laughed at her. She started crossing, and I did too.

The driver leaned out of his open window and yells at me “No, not you” and started to accelerate over the crossing. It’s clear he thought this was hilarious and was doing it to impress his mates.

I just shook my head, kept walking, and said to myself “Fucking assholes.”

The dude in the passenger side then leaned out his window and yelled “What was that?” So I went calmly: “I said, you’re fucking assholes.”

The whole car erupted. Passenger dude yells “I’ll do you in the fucking asshole, bitch.” The other guys were making those sort of like “oooh, we’re so scared, you called us assholes” which is funny, because those noises make you look more like assholes.

I walked away but not before they yelled a bunch more names and abuse at me, then peeled off from the intersection at high speed.

I wish I could say that I’d been smart enough to get their numberplate or anything like that. I guess when you’re being threatened with rape you’re not exactly asking for license and registration. I just wanted to get away before they could get any more violent.

I was on my way to yoga but when I got there I couldn’t join the class, I just went into the bathroom and sat on the floor and cried.

Obviously, if you’ve read any of my recent posts, you’ll know I’m particularly vulnerable right now. But I would have reacted the same any time, because I have PTSD, and because I’m a woman, and because THIS SHIT IS NOT OK AND I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT.

It is not funny. It is not a joke, it is not a compliment, it doesn’t make you look big and strong and manly in front of your terrible friends.

What can we as a society do about this? It just utterly appalls me to hear stuff like this coming out of the mouths of boys that I’m actually probably closer to their mother’s age. Like, what the fuck. It appalls me coming from anywhere.

It is a symptom of sickness.

Your threats are not jokes. This is not funny, or a game.

And no. I’m not ok.