The Name of This is Not My illness

1.

She awakes slowly to the row

of bottles on the bedside table

Her tongue is heavy and

sticks to her lips

 

Each leg is petrified wood, each knee a knot

She rolls from back to belly, her spine pops

Her stomach is a balloon pressing into the mattress

She counts breaths

 

Soon she will touch the lamp

 

Bright, brighter, brightest

 

And come to all fours

wait, turn, wait

Calcified bone feet touch the floor

Testing for cracks

 

2.

Each cap requires three motions

Push with palm

twist with wrist

Pull with fingers

 

Each label requires checking

Name (yes, it is hers)

Dose (too much/ too little/ never enough)

Date (forever expiring)

 

Do not drink alcohol

Do not drink grapefruit juice

Do not miss a dose

Do not take two doses

 

3.

May cause sleepiness

May cause headaches

May cause dry mouth

May cause dizziness

 

May cause constipation

May cause diarrhoea

May cause heart attacks

May cause depression

 

May cause loss of bone density

May cause limb paralysis

May cause macular degeneration

May cause righteous indignation

 

May cause weakness

May cause auditory hallucinations

May cause internal bleeding

May cause loss of breath.

 

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