A lot of people are saying ‘What can we do now?’ And that’s great, it really is. But I’m not there yet.
People often talk about the stages of grief. I guess most of the time we acquaint grief with the loss of a person. My first real experience of it was when I lost my health, which meant giving up my life as I knew it.
This is my second. I guess I’m in Stage One – Denial and Isolation. I am in disbelief, and I don’t want to talk to anyone. Everything I see causes despair. I just want to lock myself in my room til this goes away. I realise how childish and unsustainable that is, but that’s the reality.
Perhaps it was stupid of me to believe the election would go any other way. Perhaps I contributed to my own delusion by steadfastly staying inside my warm liberal bubble.
But I honestly never, never dreamed the numbers would look like that. It’s soul destroying.
It’s soul destroying because this isn’t just about politics for me, and I know it’s not for many of you either. I see people saying “I didn’t vote for myself, if I had, I would have voted National.” Maybe on a personal economic scale, yes, National is right for some people. But I don’t believe in the long run that choice is right for any of us, vulnerable or not.
I voted for myself. And I voted for everyone else as well. Because I care about our environment, which we all need to live healthily and bring money into the economy. Because I care about our assets, which we all benefit from and can’t afford to lose. Because I care about housing, because we all need somewhere to live. Because I care about grocery prices, because we all need to eat. Because I care about women and children. Because I care about vulnerable people. Because I care about people, full stop.
Maybe I haven’t spent enough time talking to National voters to really understand the way they think. Maybe I’m doing them a massive disservice. But it just doesn’t seem like they do care about those things.
I am shell shocked and despondent at the number of people that didn’t vote. We did so much work to try and educate people, to try and get everyone engaged and understanding the impact of this. It’s extremely depressing that that made so little difference.
I know many of you turn to me because I provide positivity. Because even when things look hard, I keep my head up. I’m sorry that I can’t do that right now.
I can’t reconcile in my head what this is going to mean for me, my friends, my family, and my country. Immediately I think of health services. I think of benefit cuts. I think of drug prices. I think of National repeatedly stating that they have a mandate to do whatever the hell they want because a majority voted for them. And then I just want to cry again.
So no, I have no valuable analysis to offer right now. I don’t even have my usual fire. It’s burned out.
I guess it might come back. The next stage is anger, right? And anger usually fuels me into action.
But I’m sure a long way off from Acceptance.