I knew it! I just knew it! Men have been working overtime these past couple of thousand years to perpetuate the myth that women are the weaker sex. But alas for the mere mortal male, tis not true!
When coming upon a chapter in Michael Moore’s Stupid White Men entitled “The end of men,” I expected another gloom-filled thirty pages depicting how America’s studied ignorance was going to be the death of the Western world. But no! It was far more interesting.
You know how Mummy always told you there was a man drought, because women were leading men with a population ratio of 49 to 51%? Well, girls, it’s getting worse. If you can’t get a date now, you may as well give up or lower your standards way, way down, cos Prince Charming is literally going extinct.
The number of boys being born in the world is steadily decreasing. Plus, women live longer anyway. Put the two together and it’s not surprising that we’re pulling ahead.
Couple that with the fact that, thanks to modern medicine, we no longer need men to do the one thing they thought they had over us, the one thing they figured we could never do alone – childbirth – and what do you have?
A totally independent race of superwomen, that’s what!
Amazonian warrior fantasies aside, Moore’s self deprecating denunciation of his own sex is very entertaining – although, as usual, extremely biased. He basically blames men for every single thing that is wrong in the world: war, global warming, famine, extinction of species, and that bloody Hughsey on Rove on Friday nights. (Do you have to be Australian to get him, or does he annoy the crap out of everyone?).
While I agree that it is usually the so-called stronger sex that starts the wars and kills off species for sport, I don’t think you can blame one gender for the entirety of the world’s ills.
And the fact that, as Moore puts it, men are slowly being “rendered useless by nature,” actually makes me sad.
Cos talk to whoever you want, but if you ask me, no one quite hugs like a man. Or gets you a cup of tea in bed, or listens to you complain about your day at work, or puts things quite so neatly into perspective.
So, girls, if we’re so good at doing all the things Moore reckons we are, including saving the species men have caused to dwindle towards extinction, then do something for the world today. Get out there and save a man!