My father doesn’t like surprises
We tried to throw him
a fiftieth birthday
He found out and picked a fight
with me and mum and Aunty Prue
in front of everyone

I tried to tell him it was a positive thing
What do I want with parties?
he said
I’m half a century old
and not much to show for it
Do you want to drink to that?

We drank to that
Quite a lot, actually
So much so that my cousin’s friend Dave
started to look quite nice, really
and Dave and I
celebrated half a century together

Funny that Dave and Dad
said pretty much the same thing
when I arrived eight months later
with round belly proud
Yup
Fathers really don’t like surprises